Thursday, 27 September 2007

Bmw driving and dog-fighting


I embrace the reputation I assumed when I chose BMW as my car manufacturer of choice, so this story was - I thought - quite amusing.


News biscuit has some fairly amusing satire - my favourite being "Essex criminals slam 'rubbish dog fight'.".

Friday, 21 September 2007

No news is good news - all news is bad news..

I realise I'm going to get a reputation for being a gloomy, melodramatic social pessimist - but my daily click onto the BBC's local news section was greeted with the top 4 stories being the following:
* Two boys, 14, found guilty of murdering a father in Sheffield
* Nurse steal money from dying patient to pay her mobile phone bill
* Man slashes his own throat in Woolworths, killing himself in front of attendant shoppers
* Newcastle man dies in stabbing

What's it all about?!

Fame beckons at the expense of my anonymity!

Imagine my suprise this morning - when browsing the BBC's Saxondale site - when I spotted a comment from "MrGeeza's blogspot" about Jonathon's acting! So much for preserving my anonymity! I did find it amazing that I was looking at a website referencing a comment made by me about the show the website is based on! The internet truly is a small place.

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Love thy neighbour (or urinate on her if it's easier..)

I felt I wanted to post this and draw attention to it's sheer incredulity! I don't even know what I can say about it - I just find it unbelievable that something so disgusting can occur on Britain's streets in the 21st Century. I realise (as I've mentioned before) that I'm probably sheltered but I hope that this sort of incident never becomes readily dismissable by anyone - regardless of their upbringing or social exposure.

My question, I think, is how do people get into a position where they're capable of doing something so dispicable? There's probably no answer.. how depressing though..

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On a happier note, I've had my car for a week now and I love it! It's excessively lavish and parades a plethora of technological tricks - hence why I love it. I get in it and feel like driving.. not energetically.. just driving.. it's warm, comfortable, aesthically-pleasing, ergonomic.. it's wonderful! Now, please let my old car sell with haste to ease the financial burden currently hanging over my head!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Women's football in Japan!

I've been quite busy this week but I did have the "fortune" of catching a 45-minute half of women's football at the World Cup in Japan. Now, in my sheltered (and probably sexist world) Men play football - just like girls go to Brownies*. Never mind equality - in my head it's gender exclusive. Bigotry aside, I thought I'd give it a chance.

Quite frankly, it was more of a circus than I could've imagined (or hoped for!). Passes were rarely long enough to be completed, players had to kick for the goalkeepers so they could surpass the confines of the penalty area, shots from > 18 yards invariably bounced 3 times before reaching the goal and throw-ins epitomised the reputation girls have for an inability to throw anything. And, bear in mind, this is the very best the world's countries had to offer! To be fair, however, I should say that Kelly Smith exhibited 'actual' footballing skills and made a very good show for herself. It's just the other 500+ women there who would probably fail to notice if the game was started with a rugby ball rather than a football.

* I could write reams on my sociological/psycholgical take on different individual's acquired/voluntary societal perceptions and opinions. I think that one's upbringing indoctrinates a very strong opinion of particular social settings or identity groups. I was brought up in a traditional nuclear family where my Father was 'breadwinner' and my Mother raised the children. Now that I am older I recognise the right of women to strive in careers (or the right of men to raise children) but sub-consciously I still instinctively percieve a family unit comprising of Dad-Worker, Mum-Mother + Children-scholars and very closely share the Social constructionist approach to making sense of individuals perceptions.

These instinctive perceptions could very easily be construed as sexist, ageist or whatever but it is very difficult to suppress instinct with rationality and calculation in advanced years.. The influences shaping perceptions are not just historical, cultural or familial. Much contemporary discourse considering social contexts (such as the nuclear family mentioned above) is loaded with political terminolgy. I was disgusted to learn recently that, until it was repealed in 2003, the England and Wales Local Government Act 1988 made reference to same-sex partnerships raising children as "pretended families". This is language enacted less than 2 decades ago and drafted by people purporting to represent society's interests!

I'll stop myself! I'm on runway 1 and I'm clear for take-off! Best for any readers that I abort!
Suffice to say that I don't use [apparently] sexist vernacular to offend but merely to expound my honest, natural opinion of things.

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Love just off the fast lane, Saxondale and Vista woes..

Sadly, I haven't posted for a while - a combination of being busy and having very little to say, I suppose! Anyway, I'm back..

First of all, I had to comment on this! I thought it was really perculiar but, strangely, quite nice. The notion that two people - having presumably been married for decades already - can while the hours of each day away together in the stark confines of a travelodge I thought was quite endearing. Surrounded by very few personal effects, their days are filled by the company of one another. Typically British, I thought - both in its quirkiness and unconventional romanticism. I did wonder whether or not friends and family visited them at their "home"?!...

Saxondale (Thursday, BBC2 9.30pm) took another step up, for me, last week with the increased involvement of the 'Jonathon' character, mentioned previously here. His acting is just superb for comedy, mastering the delicate and subtle mannerisms with absolute aplomb. His twitchy, contemplatative character nuances are similar to those perfected by Gervais as David Brent. I look forward to this week's installment with great anticipation and hope for an equally prolific role..

My problems with Windows Vista persisted this week after suffering 3 inexplicable crashes on my new laptop.. It's an incredible thing that a firm with the hapless incompetance of micro$oft can flourish as they have done, and continue to do. We are all* slaves, it seems, to their ingenius monopolistic programming which promises new and improved usability on an unecessarily recurrent basis only to complicate simple tasks and further exclude other market players or contributers with increased incompatability. "Why change?" one may ask, when their profits continue to soar from their sacrosanct position of dominance.. Anyway, I think XP will be getting a call off the subs bench this week..

* All, meaning those who are technically unable (in terms of inability or work software commitments) to choose a different OS or are, like me, too lazy to change..

Saturday, 1 September 2007

Girls Aloud - violence and saxondale

Well, Girls Aloud finaléed a fantastic day yesterday. We had an early dinner on the quayside of Wells-next-the-Sea before going to Holkham Hall and queuing for a couple of hours (to ensure a suitably proximate viewing position). We enjoyed some fantastically childish banter with the hoards of 7-year old fans over who was truly the greatest fan of Nadine et al!

There was one moment, during the concert itself, of particular suprise. A man, holding his young daughter in his arms, moved a chair slightly to allow a young lad to stand next to him andf enable him a better view. The owner of the moved chair (a woman in her 30's with 3 young children) took perculiar umbridge to the furniture rearrangements and proceeded to punch the man repeatedly in the face (with screams cascading in from the associated - now hysterically crying - children of both parties). The man made absolutely no defence of himself nor did he exact any kind of retaliation. The woman was eventually dragged away from the scene [that she'd created!] and took her position atop the chair dancing with a provocative and contumelious attitude over her behaviour.

The whole episode was disgusting - for so many reasons. Firstly, the obvious impact it had on the children that wiotnessed (and suffered it) - especially the offspring of the two parties. Secondly, the fact that the woman thought her unprovoked and unrelenting tirade of jabs was what was necessary and, perhaps worse, that she went on to revel in her post-fight spotlight like she had, in some way, victored when all around scowled in pure disbelief. Thirdly - and what pesters me most - that something like this can even happen. I accept (and appreciate enormously) my sheltered, country-life upbringing which is perhaps why I found the occurence so incredible. But, it saddens me to think that there are people who would not find such and incident unbelievable - whether because of their own acceptable moral boundaries or because of their social structing which has eroded their levels of expectation of their 'fellow man'.

Anyway, I navigated my way out of the "die-hard fans's nucleus" and headed sideways for air and a better view of the stage. Thankfully, I stumbled past a collection of police officers, informed them of the afore-mentioned dispicable events and left them to do what was necessary of them. There was something strangely satisfying about watching the police drag the woman from the crowd as the fireworks crescendoed in the clear, dark Norfolk sky..

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BBC2 aired Steve Coogan's second installment of saxondale on Thursday evening. This series seems to cling-on to the same sort of 'scoring topics' as the first - Magz's larger-lady size, Tommy's past haunting (and often, dominating) his present, the 'Stang etc.. However, one brilliant improvement is that of Tommy Saxondale's conscientious neighbour, Jonathon - played by the the very talented Darren Boyd. His character is executed with perfection and really has 'made' the first two episodes for me.

While Saxondale is never going to be true comedy gold - it's certainly very much better than the current dross* that infects most of the BBCs comedy schedules.

By dross, I mean 2 pints of lager, Goodness gracious, Ruddy hell, it's Harry and Paul etc. Most of BBCs comedy output is saved by the talent that is; Caroline Aherne, Steve Coogan and Ricky Gervais.

Thursday, 30 August 2007

Girls Aloud 1 day and counting..


Well, my teeth/gums are slowly getting better and the pain is either subsiding or I am simply acclimatising to it. The left side of my face does currently look like some sort of hamster harbouring food but I'm hoping that will soon recede.


I'm filled with unashamed childish excitement about tomorrow's trip to Holkham Hall, Norfolk to see 'the magnificent' Girls Aloud! I've managed to conceal my closet hankering to see the minxy quintet behind the fact that I bought the tickets as a present for a friend..

Inserted is an image of the glorious Nadine Coyle who is revered the world over for her incredible singing talent - Or so I'm told.. ;-) © Whoever took it, 2007.

Monday, 27 August 2007

Dental pain and Rhys Jones

Ok, well.. teeth are all done! After a few hours 'umming and arring' about whether or not the anaesthetist and surgeon were happy to operate, they eventually did it. My mouth is currently quite painful, but for the long term I suspect it's for the best. My stubborn reluctance to take medication for anything means I'll bear the pain until it subsides.

It got me thinking while I was in the hospital - elective surgery is a funny thing. A ward full of bright-eyed folk off the street; sitting around, chatting and joking. They get wandered down to theatre and, 30 minutes later, arrive back looking battered and bruised. Mouthes stuffed with cottonwool wads, blood trickling down their semi-numb chins and a weary and confused look on their barely-awake faces!

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Excuse me for changing the tone, slightly, but I thought I'd mention something that has played on my mind. The tragic story of the shooting Rhys Jones has, obviously, heavily populated the press in the past few days. What sits very uncomfortably with me, however, was the attendance of Rhys' parents - as guests of honour - to Goodison Park for the Everton home game on Saturday. What has happened to them in the past week is incomprehensible and I can't help but feel that visiting a football stadium of 35,000 - who applauded their 11-year old son for a minute less than 1 week after his untimely death - seemed horribly out of place.

I don't suggest, for a minute, that I know the best way for parents to greive and rehabilitate after the tragic death of a child, but I'm certain this wasn't it. I'm sure that as the police and media frenzies that surround the Jones family subside, the parents will be left with the peace and space to deal with things 'more naturally'.

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Back onto a happier note - the sun is out again today and, as a devout worshipper, I shall be enjoying every second of it!

Saturday, 25 August 2007

Teeth and new cars

Just got back from having a lovely dinner with some really great friends - two of whom were the marrying parties on Saturday where I acted as "best man". It was useful for me to 'get out' (not that I'm a recluse, by any stretch of the imagination) because I've been worrying all day about my impending hospital visit tomorrow for wisdom tooth extraction.

It's a perculiar thing, really. I've never previously* been bothered or experienced nervousness about anything in my life. I suppose I'd like to think that I don't get nervous now - certainly not in a cerbral or conscious sense, anyway. The 'nervousness' I experience is probably best described as anxiety - as it manifests itself in the form of an overwhelming feeling of nausea.

To try to add clarity - on Saturday, for my best man duties, I obviously was expected to prepare and perform my speech. Now, I was perfectly happy with what I had drafted and very happy about delivering it to a room full of close family and friends. However, the meal preceding the speeches was impossible for me to eat. My anxious sickness is so acute that the thought of eating food could tip me over the bridge to vomiting! I realise it sounds disgusting (and is!) but why does it happen?! Perhaps I have a deep-rooted insecurity or inbalance that is triggered by a chemical [Note: not mental] nervousness.

Anyway, I'm trying to force the imminent orthodentistry to the back of my mind by thinking about the arrival, next week, of my new car. The new car is - of itself - a miniature quandry in my own consciousness. I'm getting a very expensive, very luxurious, brand new BMW. I'm getting it because I love it [in a pretentious and materialistic sense!]. Surely, though, this isn't right?! Or is it? Is there something better I should spend my money on? Am I a victim of "label-culture"? What image am I portraying? What image do I want to portray? Could I over-question what is, essentially, a very important means for me to mobilise myself?

I know a few answers. I probably prefer not to think about some questions too much because it makes me feel greedy and possessory. I reassure my guilty conscience that I'll enjoy it and that it's ultimately very useful for me. The horrible thing is that there is a detestable part of me that will unquestionably start looking and thinking about my 'next' car after only a few months ownership. I think I should probably start to accept that - in automotive terms - my aspirations will always rest on the horizon and I doubt that, from behind the wheel of my Ferrari in my 30s, I'll be able to reach whatever it is I crave!

I think a large part of me feels very guilty about 'blowing' such a large sum of money on a car when I know my parents worked incredibly hard to achieve modest steps up life's ladder in their earlier years. I suppose one lives in the contemporary - so reaching out for whatever is available, at the time, is natural. For my parents that might have been a week's food shopping and for me that is a car. The balance still seems difficult to strike.

Well, I'm going to quickly amend my Fantasy football team for tomorrows fixtures and crash for the night...

* Previously meaning before my life-changing 'incident' of 10 years ago

Thursday, 23 August 2007

The true beginning..

Well, pursuant to "en-cee's" welcome advice on blog convention - all dutifully heeded - I feel I can embark on my blog adventure in earnest. Thanks Nige - all very useful advice and very much the etiquette I hoped to uphold and preserve for the life of my blog.

I've been thinking in spells this afternoon about this blog and what I'd like it to contain. My problem, I think, is that I have an opinion on almost everything and could rack up the blog-space very quickly with spurious grumbling. I'm hoping, I think, to strike a balance between my take on current affairs and a recount and analysis of everyday occurences in my life. God, that sounds terribly boring. Perhaps I'm thinking about it too much.

I'm going to use this opportunity to breifly address a few queries raised by "en-cee". The legal implication of saying something specific about someone explicitly identified requires consideration of two main things. Firstly, the libellous aspect of defaming the individual (if applicable) and, secondly, the balance between the individual's right to privacy and your right to freedom of expression. A contentious and very technical area of the law - something Mr & Mrs Douglas could regale stories of wedding photographs about!

On a lighter, and less serious, note - Saxondale enjoys a 2nd series tonight on BBC2, at 9.30pm. While not a patch on Coogan's other, far better work (namely Alan Partridge*), the series offers an amusing take on the monotonous life of a pest controller with a catalogue of roadie-related anecdotes to pass on to his naive teenage assistant about the "good old days". If you can look past the Partridgeism congenital with Coogan in whatever he does, you'll definitely enjoy a giggle.

Right, I'm off to finish my evening's duties before I sit down with a bottle of beer and Mr. Saxondale.

* Apologies in advance. I fear my very particular taste - and indeed love - for certain comedy shows, series and performers will inevitably feature heavily herein.

My first entry..

Hmm.. a blog..
I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to write, what might be interesting to an unsuspecting reader or what direction I feel my style should pursue.

Perhaps I'm starting this as a means to vent frustrations and concerns about the world at large or simply to opine on life's trivialities. I've tried to preserve my anonymity by subscribing with enigmatic detail but, I suspect, that the odd person I might direct here (as they already host blogs here) will know exactly who I am - so what, if anything, am I hiding from?! I suppose that at least scribing this with a hint of anonymity saves me attracting - and in turn upsetting - anyone who I might offend! I'm digressing already! God help the longevity of this blog!

So. My inaugural blog entry. I've got nothing specific to say at this juncture. The reason I have found myself here is through my addiction to "en-cee's" mutterings and a closet desire to have a promulgatory rant of my own (and possibly litter en-cee's blog with annexed comments by virtue of my registration!).

I hope, in time, to populate this blog with my views and feelings on current affairs with an undoubted scattering of meaningless drivel. I don't promise it will be intellectually-stimulating, interesting or eventful. I suspect it will be very ordinary and uninspiring. The liklihood is that it will serve purely as an exorcism of my opinions and regular or returning subscription by readers out there will be at an absolute minimum!

I'm about to spend my day analysing the dreary realm of law on privacy.. how apt that it's raining outside my office window!

Out.