It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else, and still unknown to himself - Francis Bacon.
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Monday, 10 December 2007
Jimmy Carr - Offender
There are two things I like about his stand-up style and material.
Firstly - like Ricky Gervais - he makes you laugh instinctively and then question whether or not you should be laughing.. I don't like to get too caught up in political correctness in comedy and Jimmy Carr makes very few concessions in this regard. Cleverly, he often makes tacit references towards contentious areas of 'comedy' but rarely does it to offend - he more appeals to your darker humour and rouses an otherwise socially-dormant humour which so many of us have.
Secondly, I like his word-play comedy. I wish I had a better memory that I could quote a few examples here but I'm sure those of you familiar with his work will know what I mean.
Anyway - I thoroughly recommend it.
Monday, 3 December 2007
Stardust
I watched Stardust at the weekend and loved it. Perhaps I was unusually receptive because I generally shy away from opening up to the more 'far-fetched' end of the cinematic spectrum.
It was, obviously, a fantasy movie and requires a certain abandon of reality to embrace it's storyline. However, while I didn't think much to the male lead, there were still lots of strong, believeable and ultimately enjoyable characters.
Claire Danes was fantastic and gave a performance akin to the standard she produced in Romeo and Juliet (a Top 10 film of mine). When she speaks you find yourself falling into her to listen.. it's tricky to explain but I thought she was exceptional.
Michelle Pfeiffer was stunning (at times) and played her role 'suitably'. Nothing outstanding, but then I'm not sure the role allowed for it..
Sienna Miller was OK too. It's incredibly difficult to think of her in anything outside of 'that scene' in Alfie.. Mm..
Robert De Niro was fantastic. I loved his character and the way it eventually played out. I'm confident he could turn his hand to anything. A convincing, closet drag-queen pirate that you could laugh at and empathise with at the same time! De Niro - A living legend.
Ricky Gervais provided a bit of light humour. I find his persona sits a little uncomfortably in blockbusters, resonating - as he does - with fly-on-the-wall Slough paper merchants in everything he does. I still love him though.. bang on my sense of humour..
So, it was a really good film. The only criticism I could level at it is that I wouldve preferred a different ending. As a closet 'old romantic' I think the film couldve finished with the love being torn apart.. We know that this is forbidden in all things 'Hollywood' but I think it would've worked. The blossoming, fighting for and explosion of love could've been ripped apart by the barrier of 'the wall' and preserved, what was, as a moment in time - making it all the more poignant. As it was, the film tied up neatly as a finale and was narrated off in an "all lived happily ever after" as the credits descended.
Moaning aside - it's worth a watch. Shameless enjoyment of love-fuelled fantasy.. 8.5/10
'Tis the season..
Thankfully, it's almost all done now - my plan of motivation was "one for someone else - one for me". In fact, though, I'm quite plased with a lot of my gifts. I seem to have come up with pretty good ideas for those people who are traditionally impossible to buy for! Let's hope they share my enthusiasm when they open them!
A busy but exciting week this week. Man Utd tonight, my weekly Godchildren/friends visit tomorrow, dinner out on Weds, Jimmy Carr Friday.
Oh, and I love my new car more by the minute! Gadgetry aplenty! Joy.
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Humble Earth..
I love this..
The latest images beamed back from a JAXA probe showing Earth rising and setting from the lunar perspective.
Look at our little planet.
For me, you can't underestimate the emotive power of a video like this. It makes almost everything seem trivial and everything else seem incredible - with blurring inbetween..
DNA profile
Here is the result. Largely accurate, I suppose. Although it seems to have simply regurgatated my graphically-submitted answers into short explanatory sentences.
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Americans...
Xenophobic or not - they are a ridiculous breed!
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Astronomy lecture in Cambridge
1. People do lots of complaining (myself included) about public provision, juvenile boredom etc. This was free, very interesting, accompanied by a coffee and thoroughly enlightening. The lecture hall was - like space itself, very sparsely populated - by the odd listener. I find it a great shame that so few people embrace the opportunities on offer.
2. It has served to invigourate my appetite for all things cosmological/astronomical. is it a bad thing that I want to know everything?! I seem to find anything interesting and crave a greater understanding and knowledge of everything I encounter - be it in life, books, television, conversation - whatever.
How much time is it okay to spend 'learning'? By learning, I mean pro-actively seeking greater knowledge of a subject; not, for instance, simply gleaning information from casual discourse. At the moment, I could gladly embark on a choice of 7 or 8 degree courses - the only link between them being greater acquisition of knowledge. Perhaps I'm addicted?!
Anyway.. three cheers for projects such as the Institutes Astronomy lecture tonight. And long may they continue anmd attract worthy numbers to enjoy..
Death at a Funeral
So, this week I watched Death at a Funeral - which I've been looking forward to for a while. In general, I really enjoyed it. The witty dialogue and acting performances made the film very laugh-out-loud funny. My only criticisms (and both, I suspect were implemented for 'wider appeal' rather than the writers actually believing in them) are the use of a midget/dwarf/little person (I'm ignorant of contemporary acceptable language here) as the butt of very easy gags and the repeated 'easy' jibes at this or that person being "a gay". Both elements sat quite uncomfortably with me and the film. An otherwise well-written comedy was cheapened, it felt, by craving mass appeal.
Perhaps I underestimate the British film-watching intellect and sense of humour. Or, perhaps, I envisage this film to be regaled for it's supposedly humourous mistreatment of a midget and the invitation of people to leave cinemas humourlessly quipping to one another that they are "a gay"*.
I've probably been a little too negative in my review. The film was, largely, very funny and IMDB's 7.5/10 is about right.
* Don't get me started on the drivel that is Little Britain.
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
High-speed header
The local news story quoted an official (I'm not sure who they were as I was half listening in he room next-door) saying that the lady had suffered serious injuries but was stable as thankfully it was a 'glancing blow'. Glancing?! It was a 65mph commuter train!
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
I'll give you 'Trick or treat'
I hate Halloween. Everything about it is loathsome. I hate the occasion itself and the nature of association with October 31st. Moreover, I hate the Americanisation of the whole affair and the imposed expectation of parents to 'celebrate' for their children. Ultimately though, I abhor the congregations of children trapsing the streets to intrude on good, honest people in their homes to beg (or rather blackmail) them for sweets.
These elements - in themself - are bad enough but the aggravation goes much further. It makes me question, for instance, how many of these disgusting children's chaperoning parents bothered to, say, vote at the last election?.. They'll come and disturb me with demands for sweets on a chilly Autumnal eve but - statiscally - a number of these parasites lacked the inclination to drag themselves away from Eastenders to have a say in how the country they moan so much about is run! *and breathe*
Sickening - truly sickening. A friend asked if I didn't like "trick or treating" because I wasn't allowed to go when I was younger. Firstly, I don't know if I was allowed or not (I'd hope 'not') because, secondly, I had sufficient common decency not to bother people in their own homes of an evening because American custom told me I deserved confectionary recognition from them!
I hope it pours with rain tonight and washes the sponging freeloaders back home..
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
Picking buckshot out of your rear..
Americans are an intensely irritating breed so any self-harm [see Darwin awards - largely awarded to Yanks] or ironic harm [as here] is always enjoyable for the onlooker!
So that's what it feel like for the Pheasant... *tee hee*
Friday, 26 October 2007
News....
I was pleased to see that the dispicable chap mentioned in a previous entry got his judicial desserts today by being sentenced to 3 years imprisonment. In the circumstances, I think apportioning any tariff to his inhuman and degrading actions is very tricky but I think something close to the correct outcome was achieved.
In other news today, I saw this story. They say there's nowt as queer as folk - where, may I ask, do Americans rank then?! The purchaser of this 6-figure $ 'piece' really does need to have a word with himself - absolute madness!
Finally (to complete my news-based blog entry), it was unfortunately coincidental for russell Watson to be rushed to hospital with a haemorraging brain tumour in the very week the world is encouraged to recognise International Brain Tumour Awareness week. I have to wish him the best - he's had a rocky ride with brain tumours, poor chap.
Oh, and en-cee, my "Cosmos - Carl Sagan" book arrived yesterday. I'll dig in properly next week ;)
Thursday, 18 October 2007
Space - back to atoms

- An atom is less-than a 10th of a millionth of a mm.
- A human hair is roughly 1 million atoms across
- There are more atoms in a glass of water than there are glasses of water in all the Earth's oceans
An atom is - as I recall from school - comprised of a nucleus (a number of protons and neutrons) and electrons. My reading unveiled that the element type - as seen in the periodic table - is determined by the number of protons/neutrons it possesses (excusing Hydrogen which has only 1 proton and no neutron). The nucleus is approximately 10,000 times smaller than the particle itself and is almost entirely 'empty space'.
This means that if you removed the empty space of the atoms that make you or I, we would actually be smaller than a single grain of salt (although we would, of course, still weigh the same as we do now).
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, the fundamental atomic facts I've mentioned above are fairly basic and relatively easy to comprehend but I find the concepts and scales quite incredible. The last paragraph, for instance, that without atomic 'empty space' I could be miniscule in size but still weight 10/11 stone is mindblowing - and this before I've even ventured to mention blackholes!
I'll give the 'lesson' a bit of a rest and pickup where I left off when I next have half an hour.
To those who think this is terribly boring - apologies. To everyone else - food for thought, eh...
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
Space facts
- The distance from the surface of Earth to the centre is about 3,963 miles. Because much of Earth is fluid, the solid skin of the planet is only 41 miles thick - thinner than the skin of an apple, relatively speaking.
- You could fit approximately 1,000,000 Earths inside the Sun.
- The surface area of the Earth is 196,950,711 square miles.
- Our Solar System is moving at 43,000mph through our galaxy - the Milky Way.
- Some of the objects visible in Hubble Space Telescope images are nearly 4,000,000,000 (billion) times fainter than the limits of human vision.
- If you suspend three grains of sand in a large sports arena, such as Madison Square Garden in New York, the arena will be more closely packed with sand than our galaxy is with stars.
- The Earth orbits the Sun at an average velocity of approximately 18 miles per second.
- Due to frequent collisions with subatomic particles, it takes a typical gamma ray photon about one million years to travel from the core of the Sun to its surface, even though gamma rays travel at the speed of light (the gamma ray region of light has shorter wavelengths than X-rays). By the time the photon that started out as a gamma ray photon escapes the solar furnace, it has lost so much energy through collisions that it emerges from the Sun's surface as a photon of ordinary, visible light.
- And, one of my favourites(!) - there are more stars in our universe than there are grains of sand on the whole of Earth..
Doping in sport
It has now become commonplace for accusations or discoveries of drug-taking to be made in sport. I find it so difficult to comprehend the rationale of someone like Jones who was a devotee to the sport, a tireless trainer and exceptionally talented exponent in a number of highly competetive disciplines. All I can think is that external pressures of competition and expectation forced her to resort to 'assistance' in an effort to prevail at any cost. Like the Chambers scandal, I feel very sorry for the relay members (who performed with jones) who will now be stripped of medals they were awarded in good faith and as a result of years of hard work.
It's a worrying sign. Sport is, obviously, a multi-billion dollar 'industry' where performance - and ultimately results - mean money. Just like Abramovich tried (and succeeded to an extent) to "buy" a winning football team at Chelsea; Jones tried to buy herself victory with the use of banned substances. I just pray that American Football doesn't take the lead, where players readily and openly use performance-enhancing 'products'.
The scariest part for me is that drug use in sport is very much like virus development and deployment online. The laboratories (or virus hackers) can develop or invent new drugs (or viruses) before the drug-testers (or security firms) can introduce and implement detection procedures. It's going to be a long road ahead for sport and, like Formula 1, it'll be a prescribed procession of the underhand car at the front with the car representing fairness following - and always remaining - behind...
Saturday, 6 October 2007
Be honest! (and good/bad films)
This story made me chuckle this morning. Why is it that Mr Barrett (or all the other "Mr. Barrett's" out there) can't just say "My apologies, wht an embarrassing incident. My penchant for boobs has bitten me on the arse in a rather uncompromising fashion" instead of a spokesperson being nominated on his behalf [!] to say that the origin of said images is unknown..
I can picture the naive American schoolchildren returning home to their parents and relaying the story of the days events "Yes Mommy, and someone planted rude pictures on the mans personal memory stick. He was probably very cross with the scoundrelous trickster". I suppose I should take small comfort in the fact that Terrorists weren't blamed for the incident. However, I won't be suprised if I see on next weeks news that a multi-million dollar action is filed by aggreived parents in a US court against Mr Barrett for damage done to their delicate children - sit down Janet Jackson....
---------------------------------------------------------
To conclude my appraisal of the second series of Saxondale I suppose I should give it a mention here. The sixth - and final - episode was aired last week and was a disappointing climax. It felt a bit disjointed and the humour seemed to be a departure from the style of the earlier episodes. In all, I enjoyed the Series - largely though because of the addictive comedic talents of Darren Boyd.
It was a week for me to feel cheated by British comedy, in fact, after I watched Magicians - a very weak Brit-com masterminded by "Mitchell and Webb". I think I was probably stupid to expect very much from this film when I don't really like the "M & W" styling anyway! Perhaps I foolishly believed the 6.2/10 IMDB rating in giving it a try! Anyway, it was absolute toss. It was worse, even, than the 'so bad they're good' films!
So, if you fancy a decent film to watch, go and see Kenny. I've seen it advertised at cinemas this week and it's an absolute triumph. I had the pleasure of watching it last year and it was easily my favourite film of 2006. The innocence, humour and sincerity stroll happily along hand-in-hand giving the film a truly 'fly-on-the-wall' feel. I love this film.
Right, well, there ends another entry. Manchester United are about to kick off! ;)
* I'm glad you've successfully moved in mate. I look forward to seeing some snaps of your home and surrounding 'suburbia'.
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Bmw driving and dog-fighting
Friday, 21 September 2007
No news is good news - all news is bad news..
* Two boys, 14, found guilty of murdering a father in Sheffield
* Nurse steal money from dying patient to pay her mobile phone bill
* Man slashes his own throat in Woolworths, killing himself in front of attendant shoppers
* Newcastle man dies in stabbing
What's it all about?!
Fame beckons at the expense of my anonymity!
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
Love thy neighbour (or urinate on her if it's easier..)
My question, I think, is how do people get into a position where they're capable of doing something so dispicable? There's probably no answer.. how depressing though..
==========================================
On a happier note, I've had my car for a week now and I love it! It's excessively lavish and parades a plethora of technological tricks - hence why I love it. I get in it and feel like driving.. not energetically.. just driving.. it's warm, comfortable, aesthically-pleasing, ergonomic.. it's wonderful! Now, please let my old car sell with haste to ease the financial burden currently hanging over my head!
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Women's football in Japan!
Quite frankly, it was more of a circus than I could've imagined (or hoped for!). Passes were rarely long enough to be completed, players had to kick for the goalkeepers so they could surpass the confines of the penalty area, shots from > 18 yards invariably bounced 3 times before reaching the goal and throw-ins epitomised the reputation girls have for an inability to throw anything. And, bear in mind, this is the very best the world's countries had to offer! To be fair, however, I should say that Kelly Smith exhibited 'actual' footballing skills and made a very good show for herself. It's just the other 500+ women there who would probably fail to notice if the game was started with a rugby ball rather than a football.
* I could write reams on my sociological/psycholgical take on different individual's acquired/voluntary societal perceptions and opinions. I think that one's upbringing indoctrinates a very strong opinion of particular social settings or identity groups. I was brought up in a traditional nuclear family where my Father was 'breadwinner' and my Mother raised the children. Now that I am older I recognise the right of women to strive in careers (or the right of men to raise children) but sub-consciously I still instinctively percieve a family unit comprising of Dad-Worker, Mum-Mother + Children-scholars and very closely share the Social constructionist approach to making sense of individuals perceptions.
These instinctive perceptions could very easily be construed as sexist, ageist or whatever but it is very difficult to suppress instinct with rationality and calculation in advanced years.. The influences shaping perceptions are not just historical, cultural or familial. Much contemporary discourse considering social contexts (such as the nuclear family mentioned above) is loaded with political terminolgy. I was disgusted to learn recently that, until it was repealed in 2003, the England and Wales Local Government Act 1988 made reference to same-sex partnerships raising children as "pretended families". This is language enacted less than 2 decades ago and drafted by people purporting to represent society's interests!
I'll stop myself! I'm on runway 1 and I'm clear for take-off! Best for any readers that I abort!
Suffice to say that I don't use [apparently] sexist vernacular to offend but merely to expound my honest, natural opinion of things.
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Love just off the fast lane, Saxondale and Vista woes..
First of all, I had to comment on this! I thought it was really perculiar but, strangely, quite nice. The notion that two people - having presumably been married for decades already - can while the hours of each day away together in the stark confines of a travelodge I thought was quite endearing. Surrounded by very few personal effects, their days are filled by the company of one another. Typically British, I thought - both in its quirkiness and unconventional romanticism. I did wonder whether or not friends and family visited them at their "home"?!...
Saxondale (Thursday, BBC2 9.30pm) took another step up, for me, last week with the increased involvement of the 'Jonathon' character, mentioned previously here. His acting is just superb for comedy, mastering the delicate and subtle mannerisms with absolute aplomb. His twitchy, contemplatative character nuances are similar to those perfected by Gervais as David Brent. I look forward to this week's installment with great anticipation and hope for an equally prolific role..
My problems with Windows Vista persisted this week after suffering 3 inexplicable crashes on my new laptop.. It's an incredible thing that a firm with the hapless incompetance of micro$oft can flourish as they have done, and continue to do. We are all* slaves, it seems, to their ingenius monopolistic programming which promises new and improved usability on an unecessarily recurrent basis only to complicate simple tasks and further exclude other market players or contributers with increased incompatability. "Why change?" one may ask, when their profits continue to soar from their sacrosanct position of dominance.. Anyway, I think XP will be getting a call off the subs bench this week..
* All, meaning those who are technically unable (in terms of inability or work software commitments) to choose a different OS or are, like me, too lazy to change..
Saturday, 1 September 2007
Girls Aloud - violence and saxondale
There was one moment, during the concert itself, of particular suprise. A man, holding his young daughter in his arms, moved a chair slightly to allow a young lad to stand next to him andf enable him a better view. The owner of the moved chair (a woman in her 30's with 3 young children) took perculiar umbridge to the furniture rearrangements and proceeded to punch the man repeatedly in the face (with screams cascading in from the associated - now hysterically crying - children of both parties). The man made absolutely no defence of himself nor did he exact any kind of retaliation. The woman was eventually dragged away from the scene [that she'd created!] and took her position atop the chair dancing with a provocative and contumelious attitude over her behaviour.
The whole episode was disgusting - for so many reasons. Firstly, the obvious impact it had on the children that wiotnessed (and suffered it) - especially the offspring of the two parties. Secondly, the fact that the woman thought her unprovoked and unrelenting tirade of jabs was what was necessary and, perhaps worse, that she went on to revel in her post-fight spotlight like she had, in some way, victored when all around scowled in pure disbelief. Thirdly - and what pesters me most - that something like this can even happen. I accept (and appreciate enormously) my sheltered, country-life upbringing which is perhaps why I found the occurence so incredible. But, it saddens me to think that there are people who would not find such and incident unbelievable - whether because of their own acceptable moral boundaries or because of their social structing which has eroded their levels of expectation of their 'fellow man'.
Anyway, I navigated my way out of the "die-hard fans's nucleus" and headed sideways for air and a better view of the stage. Thankfully, I stumbled past a collection of police officers, informed them of the afore-mentioned dispicable events and left them to do what was necessary of them. There was something strangely satisfying about watching the police drag the woman from the crowd as the fireworks crescendoed in the clear, dark Norfolk sky..
======================================================
BBC2 aired Steve Coogan's second installment of saxondale on Thursday evening. This series seems to cling-on to the same sort of 'scoring topics' as the first - Magz's larger-lady size, Tommy's past haunting (and often, dominating) his present, the 'Stang etc.. However, one brilliant improvement is that of Tommy Saxondale's conscientious neighbour, Jonathon - played by the the very talented Darren Boyd. His character is executed with perfection and really has 'made' the first two episodes for me.
While Saxondale is never going to be true comedy gold - it's certainly very much better than the current dross* that infects most of the BBCs comedy schedules.
By dross, I mean 2 pints of lager, Goodness gracious, Ruddy hell, it's Harry and Paul etc. Most of BBCs comedy output is saved by the talent that is; Caroline Aherne, Steve Coogan and Ricky Gervais.
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Girls Aloud 1 day and counting..

Inserted is an image of the glorious Nadine Coyle who is revered the world over for her incredible singing talent - Or so I'm told.. ;-) © Whoever took it, 2007.
