Just got back from having a lovely dinner with some really great friends - two of whom were the marrying parties on Saturday where I acted as "best man". It was useful for me to 'get out' (not that I'm a recluse, by any stretch of the imagination) because I've been worrying all day about my impending hospital visit tomorrow for wisdom tooth extraction.
It's a perculiar thing, really. I've never previously* been bothered or experienced nervousness about anything in my life. I suppose I'd like to think that I don't get nervous now - certainly not in a cerbral or conscious sense, anyway. The 'nervousness' I experience is probably best described as anxiety - as it manifests itself in the form of an overwhelming feeling of nausea.
To try to add clarity - on Saturday, for my best man duties, I obviously was expected to prepare and perform my speech. Now, I was perfectly happy with what I had drafted and very happy about delivering it to a room full of close family and friends. However, the meal preceding the speeches was impossible for me to eat. My anxious sickness is so acute that the thought of eating food could tip me over the bridge to vomiting! I realise it sounds disgusting (and is!) but why does it happen?! Perhaps I have a deep-rooted insecurity or inbalance that is triggered by a chemical [Note: not mental] nervousness.
Anyway, I'm trying to force the imminent orthodentistry to the back of my mind by thinking about the arrival, next week, of my new car. The new car is - of itself - a miniature quandry in my own consciousness. I'm getting a very expensive, very luxurious, brand new BMW. I'm getting it because I love it [in a pretentious and materialistic sense!]. Surely, though, this isn't right?! Or is it? Is there something better I should spend my money on? Am I a victim of "label-culture"? What image am I portraying? What image do I want to portray? Could I over-question what is, essentially, a very important means for me to mobilise myself?
I know a few answers. I probably prefer not to think about some questions too much because it makes me feel greedy and possessory. I reassure my guilty conscience that I'll enjoy it and that it's ultimately very useful for me. The horrible thing is that there is a detestable part of me that will unquestionably start looking and thinking about my 'next' car after only a few months ownership. I think I should probably start to accept that - in automotive terms - my aspirations will always rest on the horizon and I doubt that, from behind the wheel of my Ferrari in my 30s, I'll be able to reach whatever it is I crave!
I think a large part of me feels very guilty about 'blowing' such a large sum of money on a car when I know my parents worked incredibly hard to achieve modest steps up life's ladder in their earlier years. I suppose one lives in the contemporary - so reaching out for whatever is available, at the time, is natural. For my parents that might have been a week's food shopping and for me that is a car. The balance still seems difficult to strike.
Well, I'm going to quickly amend my Fantasy football team for tomorrows fixtures and crash for the night...
* Previously meaning before my life-changing 'incident' of 10 years ago
Saturday 25 August 2007
Thursday 23 August 2007
The true beginning..
Well, pursuant to "en-cee's" welcome advice on blog convention - all dutifully heeded - I feel I can embark on my blog adventure in earnest. Thanks Nige - all very useful advice and very much the etiquette I hoped to uphold and preserve for the life of my blog.
I've been thinking in spells this afternoon about this blog and what I'd like it to contain. My problem, I think, is that I have an opinion on almost everything and could rack up the blog-space very quickly with spurious grumbling. I'm hoping, I think, to strike a balance between my take on current affairs and a recount and analysis of everyday occurences in my life. God, that sounds terribly boring. Perhaps I'm thinking about it too much.
I'm going to use this opportunity to breifly address a few queries raised by "en-cee". The legal implication of saying something specific about someone explicitly identified requires consideration of two main things. Firstly, the libellous aspect of defaming the individual (if applicable) and, secondly, the balance between the individual's right to privacy and your right to freedom of expression. A contentious and very technical area of the law - something Mr & Mrs Douglas could regale stories of wedding photographs about!
On a lighter, and less serious, note - Saxondale enjoys a 2nd series tonight on BBC2, at 9.30pm. While not a patch on Coogan's other, far better work (namely Alan Partridge*), the series offers an amusing take on the monotonous life of a pest controller with a catalogue of roadie-related anecdotes to pass on to his naive teenage assistant about the "good old days". If you can look past the Partridgeism congenital with Coogan in whatever he does, you'll definitely enjoy a giggle.
Right, I'm off to finish my evening's duties before I sit down with a bottle of beer and Mr. Saxondale.
* Apologies in advance. I fear my very particular taste - and indeed love - for certain comedy shows, series and performers will inevitably feature heavily herein.
I've been thinking in spells this afternoon about this blog and what I'd like it to contain. My problem, I think, is that I have an opinion on almost everything and could rack up the blog-space very quickly with spurious grumbling. I'm hoping, I think, to strike a balance between my take on current affairs and a recount and analysis of everyday occurences in my life. God, that sounds terribly boring. Perhaps I'm thinking about it too much.
I'm going to use this opportunity to breifly address a few queries raised by "en-cee". The legal implication of saying something specific about someone explicitly identified requires consideration of two main things. Firstly, the libellous aspect of defaming the individual (if applicable) and, secondly, the balance between the individual's right to privacy and your right to freedom of expression. A contentious and very technical area of the law - something Mr & Mrs Douglas could regale stories of wedding photographs about!
On a lighter, and less serious, note - Saxondale enjoys a 2nd series tonight on BBC2, at 9.30pm. While not a patch on Coogan's other, far better work (namely Alan Partridge*), the series offers an amusing take on the monotonous life of a pest controller with a catalogue of roadie-related anecdotes to pass on to his naive teenage assistant about the "good old days". If you can look past the Partridgeism congenital with Coogan in whatever he does, you'll definitely enjoy a giggle.
Right, I'm off to finish my evening's duties before I sit down with a bottle of beer and Mr. Saxondale.
* Apologies in advance. I fear my very particular taste - and indeed love - for certain comedy shows, series and performers will inevitably feature heavily herein.
My first entry..
Hmm.. a blog..
I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to write, what might be interesting to an unsuspecting reader or what direction I feel my style should pursue.
Perhaps I'm starting this as a means to vent frustrations and concerns about the world at large or simply to opine on life's trivialities. I've tried to preserve my anonymity by subscribing with enigmatic detail but, I suspect, that the odd person I might direct here (as they already host blogs here) will know exactly who I am - so what, if anything, am I hiding from?! I suppose that at least scribing this with a hint of anonymity saves me attracting - and in turn upsetting - anyone who I might offend! I'm digressing already! God help the longevity of this blog!
So. My inaugural blog entry. I've got nothing specific to say at this juncture. The reason I have found myself here is through my addiction to "en-cee's" mutterings and a closet desire to have a promulgatory rant of my own (and possibly litter en-cee's blog with annexed comments by virtue of my registration!).
I hope, in time, to populate this blog with my views and feelings on current affairs with an undoubted scattering of meaningless drivel. I don't promise it will be intellectually-stimulating, interesting or eventful. I suspect it will be very ordinary and uninspiring. The liklihood is that it will serve purely as an exorcism of my opinions and regular or returning subscription by readers out there will be at an absolute minimum!
I'm about to spend my day analysing the dreary realm of law on privacy.. how apt that it's raining outside my office window!
Out.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to write, what might be interesting to an unsuspecting reader or what direction I feel my style should pursue.
Perhaps I'm starting this as a means to vent frustrations and concerns about the world at large or simply to opine on life's trivialities. I've tried to preserve my anonymity by subscribing with enigmatic detail but, I suspect, that the odd person I might direct here (as they already host blogs here) will know exactly who I am - so what, if anything, am I hiding from?! I suppose that at least scribing this with a hint of anonymity saves me attracting - and in turn upsetting - anyone who I might offend! I'm digressing already! God help the longevity of this blog!
So. My inaugural blog entry. I've got nothing specific to say at this juncture. The reason I have found myself here is through my addiction to "en-cee's" mutterings and a closet desire to have a promulgatory rant of my own (and possibly litter en-cee's blog with annexed comments by virtue of my registration!).
I hope, in time, to populate this blog with my views and feelings on current affairs with an undoubted scattering of meaningless drivel. I don't promise it will be intellectually-stimulating, interesting or eventful. I suspect it will be very ordinary and uninspiring. The liklihood is that it will serve purely as an exorcism of my opinions and regular or returning subscription by readers out there will be at an absolute minimum!
I'm about to spend my day analysing the dreary realm of law on privacy.. how apt that it's raining outside my office window!
Out.
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